I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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