omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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