I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
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