with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
