I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
