No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
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