"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
