peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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