I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
