you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
