Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
True strength comes from lack of pants
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