The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
wow bdsm is so cute
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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