she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
