he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need moral support for this bender
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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