White coat. Heels.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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