He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Barsexuality is the new black.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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