You're so nebulous sometimes
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
