I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
