Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
