Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I need water and some morals
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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