I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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