Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
