he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
