im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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