Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Verdict: uncircumcised.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
