she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
