By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
