Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
either way he was missing a nipple.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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