I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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