you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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