In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
