my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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