margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
