no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
