I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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