you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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