We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
