I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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