I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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