You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
