As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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