Slut skills are useful in every country.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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