Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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