if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
