i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
