Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
