Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just high enough for therapy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
