Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
