You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
