Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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