i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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