Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
