Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
