Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
