How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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