This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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