I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
