i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
