Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
