Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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