NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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