If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
