on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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